Beauty Is, As Beauty Does.
We are all aware of the prevalence of Narcissistic Borderline Personality disorders. I believe it is on the rise because our culture glorifies this behavior.
In the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM) Borderline Personality Disorder with Narcissistic Tendency is explained as showing the following the characteristics for a woman:
- Emotionally Fluid (de-regulate emotions)
- Fragile / Infantile
- Reaction Seeking
Who does this sound like? For me it reflects the standard for the pinnacle of our culture, Reality TV. Beautiful people, scantily clad, behaving badly in dysfunctional relationships. We see it in the Kardashians, Real Housewives, Bachelor etc, etc. It is glorified and embraced. As it has morphed from shock tv to the norm, I watch our culture not only embrace, but extol the virtues of these behaviors and use them as examples for good living. More selfies in bikinis. More outrageous behavior to get noticed. Focus on your appearance. Be a personal brand before you're a person.
It is a fallacy pushing a warped reality so women feel inferior because they don't look like a Playboy Bunny. We are falling under the false construct that we are here to be objects of desire. Even Marilyn Monroe the ultimate object of desire pushed this ridiculous, one-dimensional charactarization away. Our cultural push to create appearance-based judgements on how humans are "supposed" to look prioritizes looks over character.
Our culture is focused on lifting up the narcissistic beauty standards, which are in no way beautiful. These standards discount the beautiful diversity of humans. This message is anti-love. This pervasive, cultural, narcissistic obsession with outward appearance seemingly has given people the right to shame others--criticizing others' appearances--replicating the damaging behavior of the Malignant Narcissist. Our capitalist society plays on our traumas and insecurities to make us feel "less-than" so we will buy their products.
This is not beauty. This is gaslighting.
Beauty is as beauty does. So, do you want to play the role of Cinderella's abusive, narcissistic step-sister or something more? Be kind. Be yourself. Be accepting of others. That beauty will shine, inside and out.